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My days are numbered…

I love being single. I don’t think I’ve been this happy alone in.. well, forever!

I think being alone & being good at it is the most basic thing every human should learn. But we don’t. Why don’t we all just take the time away from our busy life “to-do’s” to just learn to be happy with ourselves? (you know, the lifeless tasks we all have… grow up as quick as possible, rush through school, get a job, scope around for life long mate, marry, produce & teach our children to do the same). Even at 21, I felt like I’ve fallen behind the pack, but maybe I’m just lucky enough to do the things most of these teen brides never got to do. Maybe that’s good, maybe its not. But I won’t know till I’m 80 and over it.

Speaking of teen brides… I was almost one of those youngin’s rushing to the alter. But why? & now that I’ve had 7 months to truly think about it… I was desperate. Desperate for a love I could call my own. Desperate for one person id always have for forever & for always, not paying attention to the fact that id be so unhappy id be divorced in a year. Maybe this day & age we put almost too much of an importance on marrying & setting up this wonderful american dream life. In the past ages we would marry at 13 to people our dads wanted 10 cows from and even though we all kind of think aout it and cringe… aren’t we kind of doing the same thing now? We all hurry to get out of high school, hurry to hve kids, hurry for our career then hurry to get married. What is it, like almost half of our population marries at a young age? And over half of them divorce before long. Where’s the divinity in mrriage if we all rush to abuse it? (See the pattern? We all hurry to rush everything.) Even to think I could get married at 20/21 I was an idiot. I didn’t know what I wanted and I still don’t. I take a look around now and realize I was going to miss out on one of the biggest opportunities I had to learn who I really am. I’m not talking about being promiscuous or partying, I’m talking about finding good friends, the career I want for my life, and enjoying what life has to offer before I’m obligated to live to ever-so-lovely 9 to 5 life.

This brings me to the next biggest thing… young marriage & the military. I have a younger brother (17). Of course I’ve gotten to be very close with his friends as time has gone on. One of them, a 19 year old just left for the military. He comes back in october for 3 weeks, where he’ll be getting married, then shipping out to germany! As exciting as his life sounds… do they know what they’re getting into? I was marrying military and in some ways it was amazingly awesome knowing you were the one who was ultimately there & supporting this human being who was protecting millions of people. But do they really really understand? These girls have absolutely no idea how it feels to be alone. To function alone. Without their parents. They’re 18 & so desperate to grow up they’ll jump into this love without putting their big girl panties on and weighing their options. And one of the biggest myths is that babies fix relationships… FYI, they don’t.

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